“You have to dance as if no one is watching,

and love like it’s never going to hurt.”


                                -- Anonymous

Sex  and Virgo. . .

The symbol for this earth sign is the Virgin, and people usually misunderstand

its meaning. It doesn’t signify that your lover is shy or inhibited or any of the old

negative connotations associated with virginity. It reflects the Virgin in the best sense:

pure in heart, unspoiled and seeking the ideal of perfection in everything and everyone.


Astro-psychologists relate this sign to the developmental stage of 19 to 20 years

of age. We have left the baby and adolescent stages behind. We’ve entered the realm

of the young adult. The individual is beginning to explore the world, finding a job,

developing their skills and getting a feel for just how they can contribute their talents.

Ruled by Mercury, your lover is as articulate as that other Mercury-ruled sign,

Gemini, but twice as grounded. No, make that three times as grounded. Where Gemini

skims books (and often lovers), Virgo reads books and people from start to finish.

Then they go back to read in-between the lines. Where Gemini loves to collect

information, Virgo organizes it, categorizes it, and fits it into tidy little boxes in their

minds. Is it sounding a bit anal retentive? Well, you know your Virgo!

Then again, perhaps you don’t really know your Virgo all that well . . . especially

if you’re still in the honeymoon stage. So let’s take a look at this vulnerable lover, this

less than perfect human being who, nevertheless, expects to find perfection in you!

Nothing but the best . . .

Let’s backtrack a minute. You know by now that the theme of this book is mainly

about less than mature lovers and the problems they present. I’m referring to emotional

immaturity. It’s quite possible to find someone incredibly brilliant who’s still at the

emotional level of a groupie. So please don’t confuse brain power with being truly

grownup. Actually, these can be the most dangerous lovers. They manipulate, seduce,

and eventually leave track marks on your heart. Yes, it's emotional maturity, or lack of it, that can devastate a relationship.

So here we are with bright, often brilliant Virgo, who’s highly discriminating and analytical. You love it when they dissect a movie or share their razor sharp insights on people. When Virgo applies their sense of discrimination in work, they can be as picky as a six-fingered banjo player.

"Isn't it wonderful," the boss purrs, "that new employee is such a perfectionist!"

However, what can be a strength in one situation may prove disastrous in another. What happens when your lover comes home, and in a foul mood no less? The same talent for discrimination can reduce itself to being critical, and then sink even lower, to being picky without mercy.

They're critical about what you're wearing. Or, what you're wearing is okay, but definitely not how you're slumping. And don't you ever get tired of watching that imbecilic TV program?!  What Virgo seems to be saying is, "I left you this morning and you were far from perfect, and I return tonight and, dammit, you're still not perfect!"

The harshest critic. . .

Much of your lover's dissatisfaction with you is really about them. If you think Virgo is too critical of you, then imagine how hard it is living inside their own skin. Both sexes are twice as critical of their imperfect selves.

After Virgo finishes chipping away at their own ego, sometimes all that's left is the voice of an insecure, worrying neurotic. Then they make the mistake of listening to it:

"Well, you poor loser," the voice sneers, "how intelligent can anyone be if they love you?!"

The answer goes straight for the jugular.

We all know psychology 101: we must love ourselves before being able to really love someone else. So, think about it, if your lover has a low self-image, how can they respect you for loving them? They're bound to see you (whether they consciously admit it or not) as some idiot who would attach themselves to anything with a pulse!

You deserve a lot more than that, don't you? The way to get it is to help repair your lover's self-image. The next time Virgo surpasses the "picking quota" for the week, probe gently into why. What made them so insecure?